{"id":302,"date":"2010-04-04T20:40:31","date_gmt":"2010-04-05T01:40:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/?p=302"},"modified":"2010-06-02T10:25:42","modified_gmt":"2010-06-02T15:25:42","slug":"losing-the-battle-against-malt-balls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/2010\/04\/losing-the-battle-against-malt-balls\/","title":{"rendered":"Losing the Battle Against Malt Balls"},"content":{"rendered":"

[Note: advanced copy giveaway contest still in swing til Thurs 4\/8!\u00a0 See next post or click\u00a0http:\/\/bit.ly\/bwNItS<\/a>\u00a0for info.]<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

So I recently had my most-commented-on Facebook update ever, which was something to the effect of, “Shopping for the honeymoon–Galapagos!\u00a0 Reports of tortoises, blue-footed boobies and the elusive mola-mola fish will ensue.”\u00a0 I am super, super excited.\u00a0 I could expand on how I excited I am to see unique creatures, walk on volcanic beaches, walk on beaches, period, and see the place that ignited Darwin’s theory of evolution (which, if you don’t believe in it, this is not the blog for you).\u00a0 However, I am currently preoccupied by–oh, what the hell, eating<\/em>–malt balls.<\/p>\n

Everyone buys fun food for vacations, right?\u00a0 My dad used to call\u00a0it Provisions.\u00a0 We never had things like soda or Hershey bars in the house, but when we went to Arizona, for example, darned if we didn’t need to pull off the road to stock up on proivisions like this.\u00a0 It was important!\u00a0 Necessary!\u00a0<\/p>\n

So when in the Whole Foods to buy Easter-basket presents for the wife, of course I had to buy some yummies for the trip.\u00a0 Yes, I bought ginger candies in case of an upset stomach and nut-mix in case we end up with an unfilling dinner, but the real pay-dirt was the malt balls.\u00a0 They are the perfect candy!\u00a0 Staggerling sweet on the outside; crunchy on the inside.\u00a0 Like Oreos, there are a million ways to eat them, and all are good.<\/p>\n

I know Whole Foods takes a firm NO SAMPLING stance on bulk foods, but they charge so freakin’ much–I’m not sympathetic.\u00a0 Plus, there’s always so much fruit, nut and grain debris from hapless self-servers–they can’t be that concerned about their bottom line.\u00a0 Having recited these beliefs to myself, the first malt ball of the day was sampled right then and there.\u00a0 Hey, I was going to buy some anyway.\u00a0 And they were out of chocolate, so I had to sample the peanut butter kind before I invested.\u00a0 I assure you, though, that they were just as delicious as the chocolate kind.<\/p>\n

As I wandered the store, I told myself I’d keep the twisty affixed to the bag, but shopping is a stressful experience.\u00a0 Should I buy the 8-pack of eco-toilet paper (more cost-effective) or the 4-pack (easier to tote upstairs)?\u00a0 Should I get us some Emergen-C, or did my honey think that was barfy?\u00a0 With decisions like this to be made, clearly I needed some malt ball accompaniment.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Made it home, planted some kale and love-in-a-mist (yay!)\u00a0 Did some dishes,\"\"<\/a> talked on the phone, got hungry, and fell prey to weakness again.\u00a0 I had taken the food out of the fridge for dinner, but I wasn’t going to dive into that<\/em>.\u00a0 That was for dinner.\u00a0 I ate some malt balls but also needed to stop myself, so I closed the bag, put the coveted candy in a grocery bag with other trip items.\u00a0 (I did get the Emergen-C, incidentally.\u00a0 It’s in the bag.)\u00a0<\/p>\n

But the malt balls, at this moment, are not.\u00a0 They are on my desk.\u00a0 There are…five left.\u00a0<\/p>\n

How many did I start with, I wonder?\u00a0 Twenty?\u00a0 This is kind of pathetic.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I’m often very good at delaying gratification.\u00a0 A. and I got married in August, and for various reasons, we decided it would be best to put off our honeymoon until April.\u00a0 I regularly shock my family with how long I can wait to open presents or refuse to hear about surprises.\u00a0 I am not totally reckless; I have impulse control.\u00a0 But next time a vacation rolls around, I’m stocking up on provisions no sooner than the day before.<\/p>\n

ps I hope Whole Foods doesn’t have a Google alert on Bin Theft.\u00a0<\/p>\n

pps Love in a Mist photo credit to…me!\u00a0 They were in our wedding bouquet, and they grow a block away from the dorms at Vermont College, where I got my MFA.\u00a0 I love love in a mist!<\/p>\n

pps I just shared this with A. and she said, those aren’t Love in a Mist, those are Thistles.\u00a0 But I want to call them Love in a Mist!!\u00a0 And she is okay with that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[Note: advanced copy giveaway contest still in swing til Thurs 4\/8!\u00a0 See next post or click\u00a0http:\/\/bit.ly\/bwNItS\u00a0for info.] So I recently had my most-commented-on Facebook update ever, which was something to the effect of, “Shopping for the honeymoon–Galapagos!\u00a0 Reports of tortoises, blue-footed boobies and the elusive mola-mola fish will ensue.”\u00a0 I am super, super excited.\u00a0 I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[40],"class_list":["post-302","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-malt-balls"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/302","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/302\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":450,"href":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/302\/revisions\/450"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jessicaleader.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}