In this week’s New Yorker’s table of contents, I saw some article titles that never were:

On the job with a Michelin Impostor

(Michelin being the French restaurant raters.)  It was really “Michelin Inspector,” but “Michelin Impostor” would have yielded a lot of interesting results.  Think about the ire of the French chefs when they realized they were lowering themselves to suck up to someone who was not even the real deal!

Beijing loves Canadian Food

This was a real blurring.  The first article was “Letter from China: Beijing Loves Bordeaux,” followed by “Canadian Journal: Funny Food.”  Honestly, it surprised me that the Chinese loved Canadian food, given that they are pretty much obsessed with domination and doing things their way, and while the Canadians do steadfastly hold to many of their own modus operandi, they’re not exactly who comes to mind when I think of world domination. 

If these are the articles I’m creating in my thirties, I can only marvel at prospect of what I’ll come up with in my 70s.  I’ll start writing a whole new genre of novels!  And become like the grandmother in the movie version of About a Boy.  (“We’re having duck?  Delightful!”)

I know I tempted some of you last time with the indication that There Might Be Elk (in my work-in-progress, The Book of the Dead, and in a blog post), so here goes.

Several weekends ago, I used the second half of some grant money (thank you, Kentucky Arts Council) to visit the Great Smoky Mountains, where The Book of the Dead is set.  Not only did I get to right some serious misperceptions about the park; I got great visual details, a sense of the geography, and an awesome four-hour meeting with my new heroine, the parks ranger who is the liaison to the Student Conservation Association.  I’ll call her H.  She talked to me about so many angles of the book–the plausibility of the horrible accident (it’s plausible; also, harrowing), construction aspects of the trail she took me to, and a part of the park where the book can best be set.  I now have a location that’s remote, doesn’t get much foot-traffic, is near a stream, and has beautiful views.  I owe her a serious debt.  She totally rules. 

So yes, amazing information, and, of course, the ersatz Santa Claus figure above.  I just wrote him into a scene today, as a matter of fact.  And when I stuck that photo into this blog, I realized,

Hey.  The entire trip was one big Pan Fer Gold.  Take up a heap of dirt–the endless amount of information that you gather; the interviews you record that you tell yourself you’re going to transcribe; the free newspapers you stashed somewhere–and then, over a long period of time, sift through them. 

First put them through the big-gunk strainer and remove all the things you know you don’t want, like Gatlinburg, Tennessee, the city at the north of the park.  Yegads!  I’ve never seen anyplace so touristy in my entire life.  It would be a great setting for something, but it’s not right for these characters even to drive through. 

Then, of course, you put the info through more strainers to see what’s useful and keep yourself honest.  For example, I strongly suspect that Mr. Pan Fer Gold will get cut.  I love him, no doubt.  But often, when you love something too much early on, it’s the thing that has to go (writers, back me up on this.  True, right?)

One thing, though, that I think will make it through all the strainers is elk.  The part of the park where the book is set is a huge gathering ground for elk.  It would be a crime against writerliness not to include these huge, majestic, bugling animals in my book.  But–

which character of the six is going to come upon this elk, and when?  I’m not sure yet.  I don’t know if it will be during a high moment–the reward of the elk!–or solace in the midst of bitter disappointment.  Figuring it out, though, will be a kind of gift.  In fact, I think there should be an elk, literal or metaphorical, in every novel: some huge visual gesture that carries a great significance.  I’m grateful for H and everything that got me to the park and for the insight of elk-kind.  May they continue to prosper on their remote area of the park. 

There will be elk. 

Next time: reports from the SCBWI Mid-South Schmooze, which was hugely successful!

So Marina, one of the protagonists in Nice and Mean (ooh, coming out in a mere 7 months, minus three days!), is deeply invested in Dr. Pepper.  It’s the perfect drink for her: attractively sweet but also kind of burning.  She eats them with Mint Milanos, cookies whose chocolate is slightly bitter–also like Marina. 

My gal came back from a business trip to Texas having visited the Dr. Pepper Museum (yes, there is one) and informed me that she had a present not just for me, but for Marina as well.  The present for me was a t-shirt saying, “I’m a pepper,” which I have always, always wanted.  And for Marina, there was this:

Actually, it is even better than that: it is Dr. Pepper Tasty Lipgloss with Twist and Squeeze.  When you pop off the top, there’s a little brush stuck into the tube.  You twist and squeeze the tube and out comes Pepper goo, and then you paint the gloss on your lips.  It’s so cool!  I couldn’t find an image of that product, but let me tell you, it will soon be taking over the world. 

The best thing of all was that even though Marina can be a little grabby, she let me use her lip gloss, and in addition to making my lips look shiny and read and beautiful, it tasted Pepperific.  Mm. 

Since I’ve applied what will surely be my daily dose of Pepper, the tube is currently sitting on my desk as a little token of Marina-ness.  Now I just have to figure out a signature item for Sachi, my other narrator.  Sachi’s a lot less interested in Things than Marina, but she does have a gold and onyx ring from her grandmother that she twists in times of stress.  I wonder if there’s a Museum of Gold and Onyx where my gal is going next…

It’s so exciting when everyone is talking about a book and how much they love it and you request it and you read it and you love it as much as everyone else does.

I’m talking about When You Reach Me, by Rebecca Stead, about a transitional moment in the life of a 12-year-old girl growing up in New York City in 1978.  It’s just one of those near-perfect books.  She captures daily life so well, especially the New York elements, that I felt like a door has been opened in one of the rooms of my brain and I could see its contents more clearly.  (Keys are a recurring image in this book, so the feeling is fitting.)  Here are some lines I am in utter love with:

“Sometimes you never feel meaner than the moment you stop being mean.  It’s like how turning on a light makes you realize how dark the room had gotten.  And the way you usually act, the things you would normally have done, are like these ghosts that everyone can see but pretends not to.  It was like that when I asked Alice Evans to be my bathroom partner.” 

and

“On the way up, it hit me that it was truly strange to come over here without talking to Annemarie first.  But at the exact same moment I got nervous about that, I also got this other feeling, which I can only describe as love for Annemarie’s elevator.”

I mean, how right-on is that?  How often, in a moment of nerves or energy or emotion, do you fall in love with someone else’s elevator?  I do it weekly, at least.

A strong thread of the book is mysterious and fantastical, and I enjoyed that, but what really got me was the details.  I think I may be a ‘holding a mirror up to nature’  kind of reader, which is maybe too bad, because enjoying the realistic elements of this book more than the fantastical ones may be like appreciating an ice cream sundae for its whipped cream, but what the heck–everybody likes whipped cream on top.

Diane at The Book Resort blog gave me all these fun questions to answer, and now they’re up on the Internets!  It’s of my first author interviews!  Click to read.

Diane found me through the Tenners, which is a group of about 60 novelists whose books will be debuting (if that’s a word) in 2010.  The Tenners have contests and giveaways and fun weekly features, like the Monday Top 10 List and (my favorite) Tenner Tell-All, which I think is on Wednesdays.  A few weeks ago, people talked about their Most Embarrassing Moments on the Road to Publication, and while reading them, I cracked up for about 10 minutes straight.  It’s clear that these people are, you know, writers, and it’s fun to get to know them virtually and get a sense of the books we’ll all be reading next year. 

So–lots of reading for you!  Enjoy!  And hey, thanks for all the kudos about the website.  It really means a lot.  Stay tuned for tales about my resarch trip to The Great Smoky Mountains this weekend, and how there will now be elk in my story, come heckle or high water.