[Note: advanced copy giveaway contest still in swing til Thurs 4/8!  See next post or click http://bit.ly/bwNItS for info.]

So I recently had my most-commented-on Facebook update ever, which was something to the effect of, “Shopping for the honeymoon–Galapagos!  Reports of tortoises, blue-footed boobies and the elusive mola-mola fish will ensue.”  I am super, super excited.  I could expand on how I excited I am to see unique creatures, walk on volcanic beaches, walk on beaches, period, and see the place that ignited Darwin’s theory of evolution (which, if you don’t believe in it, this is not the blog for you).  However, I am currently preoccupied by–oh, what the hell, eating–malt balls.

Everyone buys fun food for vacations, right?  My dad used to call it Provisions.  We never had things like soda or Hershey bars in the house, but when we went to Arizona, for example, darned if we didn’t need to pull off the road to stock up on proivisions like this.  It was important!  Necessary! 

So when in the Whole Foods to buy Easter-basket presents for the wife, of course I had to buy some yummies for the trip.  Yes, I bought ginger candies in case of an upset stomach and nut-mix in case we end up with an unfilling dinner, but the real pay-dirt was the malt balls.  They are the perfect candy!  Staggerling sweet on the outside; crunchy on the inside.  Like Oreos, there are a million ways to eat them, and all are good.

I know Whole Foods takes a firm NO SAMPLING stance on bulk foods, but they charge so freakin’ much–I’m not sympathetic.  Plus, there’s always so much fruit, nut and grain debris from hapless self-servers–they can’t be that concerned about their bottom line.  Having recited these beliefs to myself, the first malt ball of the day was sampled right then and there.  Hey, I was going to buy some anyway.  And they were out of chocolate, so I had to sample the peanut butter kind before I invested.  I assure you, though, that they were just as delicious as the chocolate kind.

As I wandered the store, I told myself I’d keep the twisty affixed to the bag, but shopping is a stressful experience.  Should I buy the 8-pack of eco-toilet paper (more cost-effective) or the 4-pack (easier to tote upstairs)?  Should I get us some Emergen-C, or did my honey think that was barfy?  With decisions like this to be made, clearly I needed some malt ball accompaniment. 

Made it home, planted some kale and love-in-a-mist (yay!)  Did some dishes, talked on the phone, got hungry, and fell prey to weakness again.  I had taken the food out of the fridge for dinner, but I wasn’t going to dive into that.  That was for dinner.  I ate some malt balls but also needed to stop myself, so I closed the bag, put the coveted candy in a grocery bag with other trip items.  (I did get the Emergen-C, incidentally.  It’s in the bag.) 

But the malt balls, at this moment, are not.  They are on my desk.  There are…five left. 

How many did I start with, I wonder?  Twenty?  This is kind of pathetic. 

I’m often very good at delaying gratification.  A. and I got married in August, and for various reasons, we decided it would be best to put off our honeymoon until April.  I regularly shock my family with how long I can wait to open presents or refuse to hear about surprises.  I am not totally reckless; I have impulse control.  But next time a vacation rolls around, I’m stocking up on provisions no sooner than the day before.

ps I hope Whole Foods doesn’t have a Google alert on Bin Theft. 

pps Love in a Mist photo credit to…me!  They were in our wedding bouquet, and they grow a block away from the dorms at Vermont College, where I got my MFA.  I love love in a mist!

pps I just shared this with A. and she said, those aren’t Love in a Mist, those are Thistles.  But I want to call them Love in a Mist!!  And she is okay with that.